So, you're driving across town on a quiet Sunday morning when you come to a pesky "Road Closed" sign blocking the route you'd intended to take, and accompanied by various bright orange plastic barriers--fencing, pylons, easy to move, or, in a pinch, to drive over. You're in a hurry. So, naturally, you keep right on going. Seriously, people, these "signs" are nothing but a ridiculous formality to keep out the sissies, the wimps, those who choose not to clothe themselves in an undershirt. See--it's practically paved. Well, except for this section where you need to maneuver between two moutains of gravel, beyond which rest several massive bulldozers and earth movers in a lake of mud surrounded by piled chunks of concrete with large gas and sewage pipes poking out here and there. Hey, this is just like a video game! Like a real-life truck derby course! You just rev up the engine and go for ... [insert expletive! here]. What? You're stuck? There's no way that could possibly be true. All you need to do is just rev the engine, rev the engine, rev the engine, rev the engine. Open the door, take a look down. There is seriously no way that your tires are completely sunk into the mud and water. Seriously. Come on! Just rev the engine, rev the engine, rev the engine, rev the engine. Umm, that's not working? Impossible. You just need to keep revving. And look cool, look cool. Someone's taking your photograph.